Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make Britain great. Not to imply that Britain is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only great country in the world, and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishes.
By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms.
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.
It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher :‘( :’( 
I can’t believe that, in this day and age, someone could be so irresponsible as to send out something like this without providing any sort of warning about the possible side effects, and indeed without any health and safety considerations whatsoever!
wtf?? i dont get it…is it supposed to be funny
lord sid, copy of letter i received,
Dear Sir,
I have a lot of sympathy with your correspondent mr grumpyoldmans view that some people seem to have as their raison d’être "the prevention of all joyous activity, whether commercial or recreational". There is however nothing that the Health and Safety Executive does that prevents or unreasonably inhibits people from holding summer fetes or putting up Christmas lighting or indeed a whole range of other low risk activities. Let’s hope common sense will prevail at Christmas as all other times of the year.
Yours faithfully,
Geoffrey Podger
Chief Executive
Health and Safety Executive
Rose Court
2 Southwark Bridge
London
SE1 9HS
i hope this satisfactory for you L sid. 
g-o-m: I am much relieved that the matter has been considered at the highest levels of government.
c-o-t-a: well actually, it was supposed to be funny, but maybe it missed the mark!
