I read this joke the other day.
A Wittoner marries and his new wife tells him there will be no smoking, no drinking, only healthy foods will be eaten and he will have to stop watching Witton. As he loves the girl he agrees.60 years later they are still going strong. For their anniversary he books a flight to Mallorca but unfortunately the plane crashes and they both die.
They are met at the Pearly Gates by St.Peter who points to a Rolls Corniche, “This is your car” he says. “How much is it” asks the old man, “Nothing” says St.Peter “And it runs on fresh air” St. Peter then takes them to their new home, looks very much like Downton Abbey! “How much is this and how are we going to look after it”? “Nothing” says St. Peter “And it cleans itself and provides food whenever you want it, there are no heating bills either.” The fella sees a magnificent buffet set out in the dining room. “Were are the yoghurts, the crispbreads and the salads and veg”? “Oh you don’t have to worry about getting fat here and you are already dead so the meats, spuds, chips, cakes and trifle will do you no harm.” The man looks outside to see a fantastic stadium and a team in Red and White Stripes are playing a team in green. (guess who) “Who is that playing2? He asks. “That’s Witton Albion playing Northwich Vics and Witton always win.” says St. Peter. “You have a box above the half way line.” How much is that going to cost.” asks the fella. "Nothing says St. Peter, "Everything here is free. The fella turns and smashes his wife in the mouth. “What did you do that for”? cries St. Peter. "The fella replies “Because if I hadn’t listened to the silly cow I could have been here years ago”!!!
It’s no more a “Fairy Story” than the stuff Jim Rushe comes out with.
WHS.
:laugh: